I case you are wondering if kid scissors are sharp enough to slice into that favorite light-weight down jacket of yours…wonder no longer. They are.

This event, which I will now refer to as the “attempted slaughter of the down hoodie,” (a.k.a ASDH) was just the topping on what has been a weak week.

This is what a small slice of this week looked like:

I woke up to six blissful inches of snow. Beautiful, resplendent. Tranquil. But my kids woke up to it too. And no matter how still and beautiful it might be…snow storms are the cause of a world-wide phenomenon: kid craziness. I got one sip of coffee (and boy did I savor it) before I had four pairs of big eyes staring at me in want. One wants breakfast. OK, that seems reasonable. One wants to go right outside to play. This comes along with a whole host of other wants. Their mittens, their favorite hat. Their snow pants, boots, and… One already has their swimming suit on…she is just happy cause she peed in the potty this morning by herself — but now she wants me to listen to a blow-by-blow of her urinary victory…without being interrupted. Oh and she wants to play in the snow too…in her swimsuit. And lastly, the other one wants to make cards. With buttons. And pretty papers. But she doesn’t know where the paper cutter is. Where the glue is. And every time she folds the paper – it is crooked. Which leads to tears. Cause she just wants to make a card, beautiful and perfect. A gift for someone else.

But this mommy wants a gift. Of what I am not sure. All I know is that one-hour later only one set of big eyes were satiated – the dog who wanted his breakfast. I tried to help with cards. And hunting down those mittens, while simultaneously listen to potty training tales, sipping my coffee, starting eggs, and going to the bathroom myself.

I failed.

People tell me all the time that motherhood is the most rewarding thing I will ever do. But right now I feel as though I have been set up to fail in more ways, at more times, than I even knew was humanly possible. Rewarding isn’t my word for motherhood right now. Just being honest.

It is infuriating to go through each day and feel as though you are not winning in any area. In motherhood, in fitness, in finances, in healthy eating, in laundry, in cleaning, in schooling… I often wonder if I can ever win. And I often wonder if I am meant to.

And then an event comes along. Like ASDH. And you a reminded how everything can change in an instant. And feathers can fly. And voices can be raised. And forgiveness given again. And again. And again.

I don’t have answers for any of this. But a question: anyone know how to repair down jackets?