It’s that damn pricker again.
You know, the one that has left the faintest sliver of a thorn lodged somewhere in the threads of your sock. You stop. You remove your shoe and feel around on the outside of the sock. Nothing. You take the sock off. Wipe free your foot. Put it back on. All seems fine…and then five steps down the trail there it is again! That pricker you cannot find. That pricker that is causing a whole world of hurt when you finally get moving once again.
I am feeling that way about my body this week. A pesky lower back pain that seems all fine and dandy, then strikes at the worse moment. Like climbing last night. Oh, I’d stop and rest. Try to remove the “thorn” and then continue on. In the end, it didn’t ruin the night, well at least the part of the night when we were climbing. Sleeping was another story. 🙂 But really?! I have plans. I have backpacking trips to train for. I have a triathlon to train for. I don’t want this pricker in my back.
I am feeling this way about being a mom this week. Cruising along all happy and thinking, we’ve finally got this, when bam! A thorn in my shoe. A kid in tears. A kid yelling harsh words, felt from harsh emotions directed at me. A kid refusing my well placed intentions. A thorn. And I think, “Really?!” I have plans. I have errands to run, and cleaning to do, and fun stuff too. Like pools and parks and projects. I don’t want this pricker in my parenting.
The mountains bring great joy to me. Just their existence. The towering white in the distance, edged with blue sky and green forest. But they come with bee stings and harsh storms, brutal winds and crumbling rock. You endure the unlovely for the glorious experience of the truly lovely.
And it is the same with my body.
And it is the same with being a parent