I had one of those nights. Those nights don’t happen all that often anymore.
My youngest [age 4] had a diarrhea night. You know… accidents in bed, constantly up and to the potty. And as a result I found myself stumbling around the house in a haze for much of the midnight hours.
And now I find myself stumbling around the house still in that haze…. the haze of exhaustion. I collapse in the arm-chair with my coffee and exclaim to Chris, “I haven’t felt like this since I had a newborn!” As we proceed through math and onto English, all I could think about was nap time. And surely that run I had planned was not going to happen.
I am frequently asked, “How do you have the time, the energy, to train for triathlon or climb mountains in the midst of being a mom?!” And behind this sometime sincere question I can see your real thoughts. I’ve made you feel like you aren’t doing enough.
You want to punch me in the face. I get that. And that is ok.
Why? Cause I’ve been there too. I’ve silently cursed the mom in her yoga clothes, all refreshed from her workout, while I juggled two dark circles under my eyes and barely had the energy to make my family dinner.
You mothers with newborns, you moms barely sleeping at night, don’t worry. You will be normal again.
You will have energy again.
You will see life through new eyes and color will return to your vision. I am amazed what a little sleep, or lack of, can do to our lives.
I wasn’t running every day when I was sleeping only 4 hours a night. I was napping during every free moment. I wasn’t training for triathlons while nursing each of my young ones. I could barely stuff my upper parts into a sports bra.
Your kids don’t need a super mom. They need you, and just who you are.
It is ok to not be able to do it all.
My goal: To remind you to dream again when the haze clears.
To remember you can fly down trails, find high summits, climb new lines and push past boundaries with your bodies. Maybe you don’t want to. That is fine. I don’t do all this “stuff” because I have to but because I come alive in the midst of it.
Find what makes you come alive, live it with passion. Find your higher summit.