I spend a lot of time wondering if I am ruining my kids.
When they were babies it was the battle of breast-feeding verses bottle feeding.
Then it was balancing nap times with family adventures like camping and skiing. Surely I was denying them much needed rest?
Now we are in the school years. And I wonder if they should be able to read better at their age while simultaneously worrying about “over schooling” them at too young of an age, and not letting them develop more.
And so today has it’s own worries. When you are both parent, teacher and dreamer…. you find yourself conflicted.
Yesterday it was 70 degrees and beautiful outside. Sure, we should do a science lesson but the kids are laughing and digging dirt holes and playing pretend and capturing ladybugs in the backyard. How could I interrupt??
And today it is snowing, for like the first time this winter… yeah. I know. It is April. My kid’s little hearts are gazing hopefully out the window. Every gust of wind let’s loose a flurry of snowballs from the tops of the pine trees outside and they all cheer.
“School? Who needs school?! Go get your snow boots on,” I say.
And so they frolic about outside, rosy-cheeked and smelling of wet wool. And I wonder if I am ruining their education with my inability to limit their outside playtime. I just cannot help it. I love watching their imaginations run wild.
And so I fall back on this:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34
My worry will add nothing.
I recently heard a teaching on worrying and fretting. The speaker pulled up the definition of “fret”.
Man, that is straight to the point. Our worrying or fretting wears away, rips apart, consumes us, causes corrosion. It sure feels that way most the time, right?
In fact, I’d say the surest way to “ruin” our kids it to live a worried life.
So, as for me? I know I won’t be perfect. So instead I rest in grace and try to “laugh at the days to come” as often as possible.